Meaning
What do I live for, now?
What brings me joy, what’s important to me? What matters?
The swims I do on Tuesday and Thursday mornings with people who encourage me and that I keep learning from, even when I thought I couldn’t be taught anything new.
Going to see friends, or them coming to see me.
The realisation that even though I enjoy being alone, I do still get lonely. I think I like making the effort of travelling, even if the journey isn’t always smooth.
I like trains. The option to look out of the window or sleep or read a book or sneak looks at other passengers or be stern when people aren’t following etiquette.
Who do I write for? Myself or for an audience? Is it okay to be a little self-indulgent, do I change my style because I know someone’s going to read it? I don’t think I’m holding back with my thoughts, perhaps it’s a little difficult to formulate them at the moment. Why?
I’m glad I have a stable income now. Still enough at the end of the month to put away. I don’t think twice about spending money if it’s on people who I cherish. Maybe it’s okay to be renting. forever. I don’t know. Maybe I won’t enjoy being settled in one place for the long term. At least not in this decade of my life.
Can I even settle on something I want to do as a career? Do I have a severe case of Shiny Object Syndrome? Why am I so obsessed? What’s with all the questions?